Obviously there is always fault on both sides, there were
both push and pull factors at work.
Rebecca and I were married not quite two years.
For my part all I can say is I would even at this late stage
try to make my marriage work. Simply I
meant my vows and I keep my promises. I
don't believe I was given an opportunity to make matters better, and at no time
was I made aware that my wife had even thought about walking away from our
In principle the above is still true, I am a man of
principle, and a man of my word, and I gave my word to God and man on that
fateful day in 28th June
What is clear to me now is that Rebecca didn’t, couldn’t mean
any of those promises she pretended to, and perhaps did believe – at the time –
her subsequent actions demonstrate that these were just words – and it was ‘just
a piece of paper’, it was for her after 18 months a meaningless gesture.
I’m left with a peculiar feeling, did I ever know her? Certainly the woman I believed I married
would never have left me for another man, it was to be as she wrote to me on
her wedding day “the intensity of my love will never waiver, never fail… my commitment
to you is forever.” but the woman I actually married did waiver and fail; it renders
the last two years, indeed the last five years I loved her meaningless, because
I loved someone who simply never existed.
I am left feeling like this; it’s like the marriage never really
happened, because if the person I married wasn’t real, if I loved a pretence - how was this marriage real?
As far as I know the process Rebecca began in March is
almost complete, ‘the just a piece of paper’ that our relationship - and I find I can't regard it as a marriage
any more - will
be rewritten, and we will have become another sorry statistic.